I don't like being a depressed person. I really don't. I try to be happy. But there are several things that are instant mood killers for me.

The number one thing, has to be death.

So this girl died. Kate went to school with her. Stephanie, the one i work with, was really good friends with her.

The girl was going into her senior year of high school. And she, and two friends decided to get wasted. Afterwards, she gave her keys to her friend Ray, who was 16, wasted and didn't have a license.

He ended up plowing her car through a tree, a van and another tree. She's the only one that died.

Kate told me all about it on Monday. And I managed to ignore most of it, because death is such an issue with me. It really funks up my mood, and freaks me out. and makes me lose sleep over it. and i try not to dwell on it. I lost a year of my life because of this phobia. I dont want to any more.

Thursday was her funeral. Stephanie went to it, and then went to work afterwards. I was working too, so I attempted to comfort her. and we talked about it. and i got really down. and it was pouring outside, and all i wanted to do was sit in my car and listen to music, but it was pouring so hard i couldn't go outside.

so i shut myself into the break room and pretty much called everyone in my phonebook. i love it how no one is there when you need them to. i tried chrisitine, who i love dearly but is on the bottom of my list of 'people im most likely to get ahold of'. i got ahold of her.

she told me not to think about it. and she continued on with distracting me with talk about California, Minnesota, New York City, New Hampshire, town sizes, Jesse Lacey, and Something Corporate. I left break, feeling a hell of a lot better.

Stephanie wouldn't have any of it. After everything I said, she would say stuff like "my friend is dead", "my friend died", "i buried my friend today". and finally i told her to stop it. and she told me, "you can't be in a good mood. i'm going to bring everyone down with me today."

I let it go. and pretty much just stopped talking. I let her do whatever she was going to do, because i know the grieving process is weird, and you just have to get it out anyway possible.

When something is wrong, I like to be distracted. I like to talk about it, even. I absolutely loathe people who complain that something is wrong, and when you ask them about it, they go, "it doesn't matter."

If it doesn't matter, don't bitch. and let yourself be distracted.

I never update this anymore.

i don't think i have enough of a life for all three of my blogs/journals.

oh well.

i fell like theres a bunch of drama going on, that i know nothing about.

...i hate being out of the loop.

So all Julie and I have been doing lately is talking SoCo. Seriously. I don't know what's gripped me, but Julie's caught it and we're all about the SoCo love. We got into a discussion about Andrew's lyrics last night.
 
oh! i know what started it (last night, at least). Downloaded the Acoustic Ruthless video from ESPN's Cold Pizza. That's some really good shit right there.
 
Becky-Josh called me from The Rocket Summer last night, not that i would have known if she hadnt told me it was The Rocket Summer. But yay! for Bryce Avary.
 
Apparently after I talked to her post-show, she found Jesse Lacey. Then talked to him for like ten minutes. Jesse Lacey sounds like a big dork. But that's always a good thing.  so yay! for Jesse Lacey.
 
This was all done while I was working. Except for the part where I listened to the show that was done during break. Bad Chris.

The funniest thing almost happened to me last night. I blame it on Ashley.

So Ash left me a voice mail, telling me she hoped cute boys came into CVS. A rarity, that is.

So anyway, after my break, Janet had me clean the coolers. So when i was done with that, I did the one upfront. And I was talking to Carrie, so I started cleaning the phone card and gift card stand.

CB1 (CuteBoy1) enters. He shops he comes back up as CB2 (CuteBoy2) enters. They know each other (verifying my cousins theory that hot boys travel in packs), so they're talking. Well Carrie is seriously checking out CB2, so i tell her about Ashley's voicemail.

Then I'm like "the pity is that when cute boys do come in they come in with a girlfriend", and she agreed with me.

I was going to add "you know a cute boy that came in once? Marianne Gee's (the photo supervisor) son, Brian." which was back in feb, so all i remembered about him was that he was hot.

but i didnt because CB1 came to check out and CB2 disappeared into the store.

Well Im cleaning the phone card stand and CB2 comes up. And Carrie's like "did you find everything you're looking for" and CB2 is like, "No, i couldnt find phone cards." So I helped him out there.

Well then she asks for a CVS card and hes like "yeah" and he pulls out an employee discount card. and then im thinking "he must work at a NY one" but then i had a funny thought.

So I went back to the registers and waited for the name to appear at then end of the transcation.

The name? "Gee".

So that was Brian Gee, and if I had said what I was going to say....

that would have bene the funnies thing ever.

went to berkshire today.

hot topic was so clearancing. so i picked something up for Christine and Kait.

Hot boy count at work tonight: Three.

Tonight was almost fun at work.

And I came home and found "The Way To Atlantis" in my email box. Happiness. It made me all inspired for WSC.

...I think I use abrev. so much for my stories I forget what the initials stand for. heh.